A Truly Care-Oriented Community has foundational members who serve as leaders, guides and watchdogs for concerning behaviors and abusive individuals.
ANYONE can become a leader in ways that feel comfortable TO THEM: by being a sympathetic ear, walking a friend to their car, informing others about opportunistic predation, watching out for targeted predatory behavior, befriending venue staff, monitoring bands, venues, etc., as well as creating and maintaining social networks, becoming a teacher or support figure in the community, or by leveraging their privilege to support and protect the vulnerable and disenfranchised.
In our community, Leading also refers to technical dance technique, safety and skill on the dancefloor, social leading by setting the tone of asking/guiding, and more.
Leadership, just like community, is a nuanced concept which we all relate to individually. There is no right definition of Leadership, Community, or Safety, for that matter. Interlacing the personal truth with the community experience is a lived experience, just like dance! No one has all the right answers.
The Austin 2-Step Community is an International draw. That comes with a responsibility, for those who choose to answer that call. It isn’t necessary for every person in our community to become Captain Safety, and it wouldn’t be any fun, either.
All it takes is a handful of people watching out and communicating with one another with openness and integrity in a spirit of caretaking self and the individuals within our community.
True Leadership Always Begins with Self-Care and Self-Respect. When I love myself and others with equality, I become the Enemy of Abuse and Harm.
Benefits of Caring About Community Safety (safebars.org):
- Returning dancers (strong community)
- Positive publicity, including working opportunities
- Retention of venue staff, bands and dancers
- Improved reputation, increased exposure, new dancers
- Leaders set the tone for the communication and community we WANT.
Many people can look at a situation and observe gaps and failures. FEW people will take a stand and the initiative to actively CREATE positive force in their circumstances.
This is the nature of a True Leader.
Leaders don’t wait for someone else to step in, do the right thing, or say the hard thing. Leading on the dance floor is about observation, safety, control, grace, technique, communication and adaptability. These skills are easily transferable to interrelational awareness and personal safety. Sometimes all it takes is one or two people watching out for behaviors that may pop up, tracking known bad actors as they move through our spaces and our peers, and speaking up at any relevant point. Warning BEFORE as well as informing AFTER are clear ways to communication your attention and commitment to safety in our community.
For Opportunisitc predators, simply knowing that resources like this exist, and that others in the community may have silently volnteered to become Leaders and Observers of Behavior, is enough to drive them out of our communities, or surpress their more base insiticts when they’re in our settings.
As with Violence, it is more often than not the THREAT or PERCEIVED RISK (of violence or exposure) that will cause an individual to modify their behavior, or cross their personal boundaries. The more people we have in our community who stand up for values, integrity and respect, and monitor Bad Actors, the less Harm and Abuse will proliferate within our community. Threat of Exposure is often enough to cause a potential abuser to adjust or leave a scene where their efforts will be costly or ineffective. This means that oftentimes, Safety Leadership primarily requires our Awareness and Observation of potential risks.
Others Ways to Lead:
- Call In Before Calling Out — If you have the advantage of status, calling someone to address their behavior directly can serve both the potential abuser, as well as protect or reduce their capacity and willingness to do harm. Predators and Abusers DO NOT respect their victim base, but they MAY respect someone they see as a peer, or someone higher on the social ladder than they perceive themselves to be. This means that victimization is not only a direct interpersonal issue, but a Community and Social Health issue. Its NEVER enough to say of a victim, “they should’ve known better,” in particular if we have the advantage of judgement, privilege and experience.
- Lift Up Before Casting Out — Do what you can to bring newbies and young people new to our scene up to speed before judging and blame casting their innocence or ignorance. No one leave for a night out WANTING to be Used and Abused. Its NEVER the victim’s fault. Its ALWAYS our responsibility as an autonomous self, as well as a community member, to do our part to identify predators and reduce harm. Until we care for others enough to speak up, lead and teach, our judgement has no place in community.
- Identify Joy as a Collective, Not a Solitary Experience — Most of us go out because we want to have some fun, blow off steam, be social, engage in an active and playful physical experience, enjoy music, drink and party, etc. Everyone has a goal, whether its conscious or unconscious. Almost always this is focused on our personal enjoyment, wants and needs. However, when we discover the environment is harboring Bad Actors, or has become Toxic, the vibe shifts for EVERYONE. When incidents occur, most people will pull back from their community or activity, in order to prevent personal harm or entanglement. This is a logical fallacy that we seem to think we can avoid the work and still enjoy the pleasure. Its predatory in the sense that we subconsciously want to receive a benefit, without putting in the necessary energy to maintain the source of that benefit. Its the equivalent of not cleaning up your kitchen, then being mad at the kitchen or someone else when you want to cook and everything’s dirty. Becoming a Leader means taking responsibility for the necessary social work to create and maintain a container that is safe for more than just ourselves, so we can all enjoy a safe and fun time out in our community.
- Maintain Your Own Energy and Know Yourself — Having a healthy and aware relationship to your own Wants and Needs, your patterns when both weak and strong, with your own darkness and your light, and creating self-control around your choices and values, sets you apart from unconscious people who use our scene for their own gratifications. It sets a tone of Mutual Respect, and it limits your entanglements and risks at becomong a victim AND an abuser. Knowing yourself and having self control is one of the greatest gifts you can give your relational partners and your commnity.
Ready to Become A Leader for Life?
I train people on autonomy, self-knowing, self-control and increased capacity.